Lunch Date
by FishyFloat
Summary: Nosedive and Mookie enjoy a quiet lunch together. That is, quiet until a certain Mary Sue shows up...


**AN:** Buwahahahahahaha! I am going to post so many one-shots that the front page shall be nothing but my work! The rest of you authors had better start writing if you don't want that to happen.

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"I've got tacos!" Nosedive sang, holding the white bag aloft and waving it above his head.

"Excellent!" Thrash perked up, looking desperately at the avian in hopes of escape from the nosy comic shop.

"Me first!" Mookie practically leaped over the glass counter.

"Huh?" It was then Nosedive noticed the pack of Girl Scouts running around the comic shop. The little girls were all dressed in identical brown and orange jumpers with white shirts. None of them appeared to be older than nine and not a single one of them knew the meaning of the word walk, which was being yelled repeatedly by the two adults in charge.

"Don't ask." Mookie grabbed the bag from Nosedive, dug through it, and put Thrash's four tacos on the counter. "I get lunch first." With that, she made a beeline for the door.

"Uh? Okay." Nosedive raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

"Girl Scout birthday party," Thrash moaned. "Kill me. Please." He thumped his forehead on the counter repeatedly to demonstrate the depths of his pain.

"Sorry, compadre. I do the saving, not the killing. Want me to find Dragaunus for you?"

"EEH!" A high pitched shriek pierced their ears. How could the human voice even reach that level of painful? "It's a duck!"

"And that's my cue to get out of here," Nosedive spun on his heel and headed for the door as well. He wasn't about to get caught answering questions and giving autographs to a bunch of howler monkeys; he'd never see the rest of the afternoon if he got started on that.

Blessed silence greeted him as he made his escape. Sweltering afternoon heat typical of southern California surrounded him, making the somewhat noisy, air conditioned comic shop more appealing. But, Mookie wanted lunch outside today and nothing he said could change her mind.

"Was wondering how long it'd take you." Mookie smirked and held the Del Taco bag out to him. She had already removed one of her tacos and began eating it.

"I think I've been in quieter battles than that!" Nosedive laughed and took the bag, digging through it as they walked towards one of the shaded benches for tired mall patrons to enjoy. Palm trees and blooming shrubbery surrounded the wooden bench. The sweet scent of spring flowers covered the stench of freeway exhaust.

Mookie plopped down on the seat and crumpled the empty wrapper before demanding the bag again. This time, she retrieved a can of cola with her taco and cracked it open.

"I guess they had some sort of merit badge about story telling or business or something," she said after taking a long drink.

"Oh, man!" Nosedive frowned as he checked his taco. "Did you give Thrash one of mine?"

"I don't think so. Why?"

He wrapped it up and put it back in the bag before trying another. "That one had meat on it."

"Beef is awesome."

"Not when you spend the rest of the day in the bathroom, hating your own guts." He'd tried beef a couple of times and the results had been more than unpleasant. Chicken was one meat he refused to even taste; even if the Earth ones looked nothing like the birds he knew from home, he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Your loss." She took another bite.

They sat in the shade, enjoying their lunch. Nosedive occasionally brought lunch for his friends if he had the afternoon free. It was nice to get out of the Pond and spend some time away from everyone else; and, it especially nice to spend it with someone who wasn't interested in his supposedly strange appearance or athletic fame.

"Think you guys are going to get anyone else hired to help you out soon?" He asked around a mouthful of triple spicy taco.

"Who knows? Mr. Reid's been taking applications but hasn't hired anyone yet."

Nosedive nodded while digging through the bag again. Frustration crossed his face as he used more force than necessary to move the packaged food around. Tacos and three more cans of soda covered the bench and his lap as he found the bottom of the bag. Sighing, he turned it upside down, made a sad face, and started putting the food back in.

"No buenelos?" Mookie snatched another taco and double checked it to make sure it wasn't one of the vegetarian ones.

"No hot sauce."

"Dude! Aren't those hot enough already?"

"What? I like them super spicy!"

"I don't think it's the beef that screws with your stomach."

He shrugged and ate another jalapeno, cayenne, and Tabasco covered delicacy, relishing the fire the spices produced. A drink of cola intensified the burn.

The avian's eyes grew wide as he spotted an all to familiar figure making her way towards him. He glanced around, searching for an escape. Fear and annoyance burned as intensely as the peppery taco.

"Nosedive!" Laura waved at him and picked up her pace, practically running towards her favorite athlete.

"Uh-oh..." Mookie smirked. "Time to do the famous athlete thing," she teased.

"No. Time for something to explode so I can get out of here," he muttered.

"Hi," Laura's brown eyes glittered with excitement. "What's up?"

Mookie set her drink down on the open space next to her on the bench. Her last taco joined it, taking up any space Laura could have sat in.

"Lunch." The drake studied his taco, inspecting it for any traces of beef, bugs, or anything to keep from having to deal with Laura.

"Ooh, I haven't had lunch yet. I'm absolutely starving!"

"Del Taco's about two blocks that way," he jerked a thumb to his left, still refusing to make eye contact. "Why don't you go get something?"

"I would." She heaved a huge sigh and looked to the ground in mock despair. "But Uncle Phil needs me to help with some filing and I've got to get to the Pond soon."

Mookie snorted with laughter and began coughing as she inhaled a piece of taco shell. A sip of her cola helped calm the cough. "Spicy," she tried to disguise the laughter behind a lie.

"So, Nosedive," Laura focused directly on him once more, completely ignoring the human sitting with him. "Are we going out to Roy's Hawaiian or Club 33?"

"Uh, neither?" Since when had he agreed to go anywhere with her?

"Oh!" She clasped her hands and gave what was supposed to be a winning smile. "Is it going to be a surprise then?"

"Wait a minute," Mookie's eyes narrowed and she glared at Nosedive. "Are you taking her out on a date?"

"No!"

"Yes!"

Mookie stood to her full height and stepped into Laura's personal space. "Look, honey. If you think you're going to steal my boyfriend, you are, like, so totally wrong."

Nosedive's jaw dropped as he watched Mookie coming to his defense. There was absolutely nothing between them other than friendship. What the hell was she doing?

"Boy-boyfriend?" Laura gulped, shrinking under the intimidating presence looming over her.

"Yeah!" Mookie pressed a finger into her chest and pushed. "So you'd better beat it before I beat your sorry ass."

Laura squeaked in fear and stepped back. "I've-uh- I've got to go. Uncle Phil needs my help, after all." With that, she turned and ran for the Pond.

Nosedive started laughing as soon as she was out of earshot. "Mook! That was awesome!"

"I know." She smiled and leaned back on the bench, elbow resting on the back. "She bother you a lot?"

"Yeah. Laura's got this weird thing about us. It's like she thinks she's going to marry me or something."

"Pfft!" Mookie balled up the last wrapper and threw it at Nosedive.

"Hey!" He lifted a hand, blocking the paper from hitting him in the face and deflecting it back towards her.

"As if you'd be interested in her."

"Yeah, just like you're my girlfriend?" He wadded up his own wrapper and threw it right back at her, hitting her brilliant purple mohawk.

"Dude, just helping a friend."

Nosedive laughed and shook his head. "If I didn't know you'd be more interested in going out with Tanya or Mallory than me, I'd be offended." He checked the bag to make sure all the food had been consumed. "Damn. Still hungry."

"I think there's some red velvet cake in the store if you want some."

"Yeah?"

"Birthday party for the Girl Scouts, remember?"

He groaned and leaned his head back, staring up at the palm trees above them. "Deal with the howler monkeys and get free cake, or go home?"

Mookie raised an eyebrow and nodded slowly, knowing exactly what he would choose.

"Ah, it's just a couple autographs and pictures, right?"

"I'll make sure you get the biggest piece."

"You've got yourself a deal, girlfriend."

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 **End AN:** I know there's some debate as to if the ducks eat meat or not. Personally, I write them as pescatarian (think vegetarian with the addition of fish and seafood). If you're not used to eating red meat, it'll go right through you; especially if it's Taco Bell quality beef. My vegetarian sister actually uses Taco Bell if she's been on antibiotics and, uh, needs to _get things moving._

Also, yeah, I'm working on Mookie's backstory a little bit. Eventually, you might get to find out her real name!


End file.
